Meditating With Beastly Emotions

This bunny’s raging

Meditation gives you space to be honest about how fucked off you are

One of meditation’s great benefits is that you have an opportunity to be completely honest about what’s on your mind and how you feel – even if that means you’re purple-faced, tear-stained and bewildered.

Nobody is entirely comfortable with strong emotion, particularly if you’re feeling so sad or angry that you’re not sure whether to scream or eat a banana

Feeling intense emotion is part of the human condition. So if you experience fear, excitement or a wave of sadness when you meditate, that’s okay. It’s good to acknowledge that any emotion is present, because noticing it is a step towards feeling better.

Stop fighting it

You may have been putting up a fight trying to hold off inconvenient or painful feelings. But pretending to be fine when you really want to howl is exhausting. Give yourself a break and allow what you feel to do its stuff.

Emotions have a physicality that needs to be worked through before you can let them go

Don’t judge your emotion, try not to become annoyed, even if it’s something you thought you had already dealt with. Putting so much energy into disguising your emotions is draining. If you’re feeling sad, pissed off, jealous or over-excited, so be it. Accepting how you feel brings relief, releases tension and encourages self-acceptance.

The more you meditate, the less biscuits and booze you’ll need to help you cope.

Are You Waiting To Feel Better Before You Meditate?

You want to meditate, but not today because everything is rubbish

You got turned down for a job, you’re worried about money and your go-to behaviours for handling this sort of anxiety are in full swing. You want to overeat, blame, booze, imagine nobody cares, watch porn – choose your weapon.  The thought of facing all that anxious, itchy, tension in your meditation session is not appealing. Make a cup of tea. It’s never a bad idea. While the kettle boils, notice the pattern on the mug and watch the steam rising in an effortless swirl. Then make yourself this promise:

You can do all the destructive crap you want but only after you sit and meditate for 15 minutes.

For a simple meditation technique try this.

Drink your tea then sit and meditate. It won’t feel easy, you will be aware of all tension and edgy thoughts  – all that stuff that you’re feeling anyway.

But it will help and here’s why…

If you can sit with your experience and watch yourself squirming away from your feelings, you become a bit larger than them. You make a tiny space between you and your rubbish day.

That space holds the key to you making better choices. And reminds you that’s how you want to live.

Be Kind To Yourself When You Meditate – You Numpty!

If you’re not being nice to yourself, you’re flipping well doing it wrong!

There are great skills to learn from meditation: the ability to concentrate, emotional calming techniques, equanimity and how to flap your ears (kidding!) But if you try any of these without being kind to yourself you have missed the point. Because we’re all really good at beating ourselves up, most of us become easily annoyed or disenchanted with our efforts. Even monks who’ve been at it for 30 years get cheesed off sometimes.

Just noticing that you’re distracted is meditation gold. Getting to know how your mind works is what it’s all about. When you appreciate how downright bonkers it is in there, you are in a better position to deal with what’s going on with some grace.

You’re not alone if think if your meditation would go a lot better if your mind would just shut up at your command. Sadly, it doesn’t work like that, but the chatter will settle down eventually if you keep realising you’ve got distracted and refocus your attention. It’s important that the noticing should be done with some kindness, or at least a sense of humour at how crazy your mind is!

Here’s how to be kind to yourself during your mediation…

  • Actually allow yourself five minutes to meditate.
  • Are your shoulders up by your ears? drop ’em cowboy.
  • If you feel a bit strung-out or anxious just accept it and lower your expectation that you should be calmer.
  • Be comfortable – you don’t have to be in the Lotus position.
  • Don’t hurl insults at yourself when you get distracted.
  • Smile when you hear yourself grumbling.
  • Have a cup of tea after.

 

Living With Smelly Goats

There’s always going to be something that pushes your buttons… or smashes the buttons with a hammer and rams the pieces into your eyeballs.

But with regular meditation you will get better at realising when your mind is spinning out. Noticing that your thoughts are racing to oblivion gives you a bit of room to shift your perspective.

That’s where the goat comes in…

There’s an old parable about a poor farmer. He’s got six children, everyone’s living on top of each other, they’ve poor and arguing all the time. The farmer finds a quiet moment and asks God for help…

“Bring a goat into your home”, says God.

So the farmer bought a goat and introduced it into his small house. The goat peed in the farmer’s shoes, kept everyone awake at night and was unbearably smelly.

After a few weeks of chaos the farmer was beside himself and asked God to help him again…

“Remove the goat”, says God.

The farmer removed the goat and found peace again.

Things could always be worse. You could still be in that terrible relationship, or be in hospital with raging toothache. Or be living with a smelly goat.

Your Body Is Aways Now

Your body doesn’t live in the past or the future.

It’s always in the present moment. That’s why placing your attention on how you’re feeling physically can have such a calming effect.

If you’ve tried to meditate even for a few seconds, you’ll know how exhausting it can be to keep up with your mind’s hyper-distracted gymnastics… jumping from thinking about the past to worrying about the future, all in a heartbeat.

One way to cut through the restlessness is to focus on the sensations in your body.  Shut your eyes and focus on any physical feelings like pressure, tingling, heat or pain –  even your indigestion counts here!

Your body only knows how to be in the present moment so it’s a super effective way to ground yourself and to stop your mind spinning out.

Try not to get wrapped up in thinking about your senses – just keep bringing your focus back to the tightness in your jaw or the tingle in your toes.

%d bloggers like this: