This type of meditation trains you to think about yourself in a more caring way.
It can feel a bit weird at first.
You’ll be so used to calling yourself a twat and being ruthlessly judgmental that the idea of being compassionate instead can feel odd. You’re probably far more critical of yourself than anyone else. This type of meditation will help you form kinder and more balanced ideas about how you think and behave.
Before you begin you should choose some phrases that will help you keep connected to yourself in a positive way, for example, “May I be safe” or “May I be happy”. It’s worth picking these words before you start so that you don’t forget them halfway through and have to think up new ones, which will ruin your focus.
Don’t get too involved in picking the perfect words as it’s more important to get the intention right. You need to do this with as much sincerity as you can muster so drop any sarcasm smarty-pants and just go with it.
- Set your timer for five minutes.
- Sit down in a comfortable but alert posture.
- Take a couple of breaths to relax then close your eyes.
- Now get curious about what’s happening with you right now. Are you okay? What’s the tone of your day – are you bit worried? Jealous? Really pissed off? You could be feeling quite mellow or have a spot of existential dread. It could be there’s nothing much going on – that’s all fine. Just notice and accept what your baseline is.
- Connect to your wish to feel okay. You’re now going to repeat your simple phrases to wish yourself well.
- Say the words to yourself sincerely. Drop your phrase in and wait a few breaths. Say the next one and again take a few quiet breaths.
- Watch your tone of voice – say them nicely.
- You will of course get distracted but that’s fine, just gently return to thinking of yourself in a positive way.
- You might tap into a bit of kindness here if it helps.
- Another way to reinforce that you’re not a complete monster is to use images. You might remember yourself as a goofy kid, or think about that holiday photograph of you that makes you laugh. Imagine the image and connect with the intention to wish yourself well.
- Emotions might come up or they might not. Don’t worry about it. You’re not aiming for a particular feeling, just accept what’s there.
- It helps to keep a sense of humour. It’s normal to feel a bit daft when you do this at first. It just takes a bit of practice!
- A good way finish this mediation is to think about a few other people in your life and wish them well, too.
When your alarm goes off, get back on with your day.
It’s a bit sad that many people find Positive Connection the trickiest meditation of all. But it just shows how unused to being nice to ourselves we have become.
Did it feel weird? We’d love to hear from you – contact us here.
We’ll cover loads more types of meditation in our blog and up-coming book.